SPIN FREE OBITUARY FOR GREATEST BRITON
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Winston Churchill was far from being as popular as palace historians make him out to be. The half-American dilettante’s image is repeatedly laundered by mainstream media. The brainwashing worked well: in a list of 100 Great Britain’s contenders for the title the notorious unelected warmonger was voted No. 1, a triumph for naked propaganda.
If those who voted for Churchill were aware of the Churchill as he actually was rather than the myth he has been made to be one doubts if Britain’s nemesis would have made 99th position.
Being human, most erudite historians will inevitably apply spin to their writing. For some biographers, many a great or notorious man’s memoirs present a laundering challenge. However, the most sycophantic admirer of Winston Churchill cannot deny irrefutable facts. Being of Jewish-American parentage, Winston Churchill was far from being ethnically British, which would of course disqualify his endorsement.
A notorious paedophile, the dilettante frequented gangster organised gay orgies at which every conceivable and inconceivable debauchery, with adults and children, took place.
When during a session of BBC Television’s University Challenge the quiz programme’s host, Jeremy Paxman, asked, ‘Which statesman during the 1920s found he was in debt because he liked to buy women’s pink silk pantaloons’. The normally erudite students were stumped for an answer. There was considerable consternation when Paxman revealed that the culprit was none other than Winston Churchill.
Keith Moss, a member of the International Churchill Society ‘gasped at any suggestion that his idol could have been a fetishist.’ Historian Kenneth Rose said that it might have been a reference to Churchill investing in firms that made women’s clothing, in which case the question was perhaps indelicate.
Both palace pundits might have been better informed by referring to the book, Winston Churchill, as I Knew Him, authored by Violet Bonham Carter. In her biography she concedes that ‘Churchill’s pale pink underclothes were made in very finely woven silk.’
She added that he spent something like £80 on each pair. The average man’s wage in 1935 was £1.10 pence for a 50 hour week. Questioned, by Miss Bonham Carter, Churchill had replied that the ‘garments were essential to my well-being. ‘The delicate skin on one small part of my anatomy demanded the finest covering.’ Such then is the ‘man’ so many gave their lives for, whose decisions and calamities brought unimaginable misery and death to untold millions.
Britain’s greatest Briton was a regular visitor to Marrakesh in Morocco; ostensibly so that he may paint pictures in solitude and take advantage of the climatic hues of North Africa. Yet, during the entire war during which Winston Spencer Churchill frequently visited the Moroccan city he painted only one painting.
The wartime leader earned no Nobel Prize for Productivity but insiders know that the location was off the media radar and an exotic hideaway where he could indulge his taste for easily available pre-pubescent boys. The greatest Briton was often guest at private gay orgies organised at the Cote d’Azur villa owned by novelist Somerset Maugham. At such events anything other than nakedness was taboo; everything else was on the table ~ including naked youths.
A notorious drunkard, Churchill once remarked that “the only other political leader who could hold his own with him was ex-banker robbing Soviet dictator Josef Stalin. The dwarfish despot once threatened to shoot anyone who could out drink him.
Many of the wisecracks and witticisms attributed to Churchill are in fact recycled music hall quips. His personal wit fell short of music hall standards. On hearing that the German armed forces in May 1945 had surrendered, he exclaimed: “Wait! We won: Really? How the hell I pull that off?”
However, Churchill was self-effacing on his addiction to alcohol. By way of explanation he retorted: “I’ve found that being both too American for tea and too British for Cola I am left to rely upon alcohol and alcohol alone for refreshment. At least, that’s my excuse.” Alcohol was also his stated reason for winning the war: “Looking back now I was drunk on power and alcohol.”
Having prostituted himself to what is now known as ‘the deep state’ and to denizens of media and publishing, Winston Churchill could be certain that the laundering of his image would prevail long after he was to meet his maker.
Scepticism about Churchill was far more widespread than it is today. On hearing of the autocrat’s death, an insurance company promoting its Winston Churchill Savings Account issued a tongue-in-cheek offer to lure clients whose spouses needed life insurance cover.
“Your Winston Churchill will run smoothly and effectively with the proper lubrication and when kept in the right conditions. Your Winston Churchill can be kept properly lubricated by feeding it alcohol. While it will eat most food it encounters, its real fuel is high-quality alcohol, and a good amount of it. It prefers gin (usually in gin and tonics or Martinis), but it will also drink rum, vodka, whisky, and the blood of its slain enemies (served preferably in the bleached skull of said enemy) and champagne.
It should be kept away from Billy Whizz.* If quality alcohol is provided, your Winston Churchill can properly maintain its own level of lubrication, and there is no need for you to measure out alcohol for it. Simply refill an empty glasses or replace empty bottles in its cage.
The proper conditions in which to keep your Winston Churchill is best described as ‘adversity’. However, most general adversity won’t yield optimum results. The best adversity for your Winston Churchill is wartime. However, if here is no war for your Winston Churchill to be in, you have two options:
Make a war to keep your Winston Churchill occupied. Send it to English boarding school, where it will have to face adversity to avoid being beaten and sodomised by his schoolmates.”
Ironically, the only time Churchill was elected was in 1951 after alcohol had taken its dreadful toll. Despite anti-Soviet rhetoric aimed at fuelling America’s arms corporations, the pederast remarked that he wanted one last drinking session with Josef Stalin, already responsible for tens of millions of martyred Christians.
When in 1953 Stalin was found dead on his bedroom floor Churchill was in despair. In the wartime leader’s room was a large framed photograph of the major leaders of World War Two. Churchill, under his whiskey breath, muttered, “He (Stalin) was the last of the few.” Churchill would then sit in his chair and stared morosely at the ceiling.
The 91-year old Winston Spencer Churchill finally and reluctantly threw off his mortal coil in 1965. It was said that his last wish was to be buried in alcohol like the great naval hero, Horatio Nelson. Refused on grounds of taste and expense it was said to be unnecessary as Churchill was already 99% alcohol and only 1% human.
* Billy Whizz was a children’s comic character. He was so named as he constantly got into mischief but always outran those he had cheated or hurt.
MICHAEL WALSH is a British born Irish journalist, author, and broadcaster. His 52 books include best-selling WITNESS TO HISTORY, TESTIGO DE LA HISTORIA: HISTORIA SIN CENSURA (SPANISH EDITION), REICH AND WRONG, THE RED BRIGANDS, RANSACKING THE REICH , TROTSKY’S WHITE NEGROES, and THE ALLIED INVASION.
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