NATO NO JOKING MATTER SAY THE ROMANIANS

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During World War II, British Army servicemen had a rather low opinion of their American Allies. A standard joke was: “When the Germans fire the British duck. When the British fire the Germans duck; when the Americans fire, everyone ducks”.

When the British Amy used the acronym US on crates to describe ‘Useless Goods’ the American army responded by labelling everything useless as GB (Gone Bad). The Germans too had a sense of humour. “When a silver aeroplane flies over, it’s American. When there’s a green ‘plane, it’s British. When there are no aircraft, that’s the Luftwaffe”.

Wartime allies of the Reich, Romanians might still wish the US and GB had not proved Useless Shits (US) and the British Gone Bonkers (GB).  At the recently held NATO international military exercises called Saber Guardian held in Romania, American soldiers got hopelessly lost in the countryside. With their heavy-footed heavy military equipment, the bemused troops destroyed an entire field of valuable sunflower, corn and wheat belonging to an enraged local farmer.

The inhabitants of the outskirts of the Romanian town of Fetesti were in a panic when, at around 1:30 pm on a typical rustic working day, NATO tanks and armored vehicles suddenly appeared on the field.

As their jaws dropped, the hopeless NATO military advanced steadily across their fields whilst ignoring the farmers crops of wheat, sunflower, which they crunched under their tank tracks and wheels. Despairing Romanian workers in their cars tried to communicate with the soldiers. The dumb military personal, following orders no doubt, ignored the farmers’ pleas.

Despite the warnings NATO’s armies stubbornly continued to smash their way through valuable crops and destroyed the harvest.  Upon learning of this from their frightened workers, the field owner, local businessman Sorin-Paul Stanescu, immediately called the police. The police crew who arrived begged the distressed farming communities to calm down; the cops then informed the locals that everything was in order.

It turns out that large-scale international exercises of the NATO bloc countries take place here under the proud name Saber Guardian, which Romania is also a participant in.  When farmers asked why the program of the exercise included the destruction of wheat, sunflower and maize crops, the police said that the American soldiers simply got lost, allegedly due to  ‘erroneous coordinates’ (blaming their maps).

In other words, the troops map reading skills were zilch. Having finally figured out they were in the wrong place the NATO ‘invasion force’ left the farmers fields ~ destroyed. By that time, it was already around 5:00 pm on the clock.

Sorin-Paul Stanescu appealed to the Fetesti Mayor’s Office for compensation, as the Americans completely destroyed his field with armored vehicles, burying the entire crop under the tracks of the tanks.

The local authorities sent the farmer to the Romanian Ministry of Defense, referring to the fact that the incident occurred during a military operation. Defense Minister Gabriel Lesh pleaded guilty and promised to organize a special commission that will assess the damage done by American soldiers and determine the amount of compensation. Whose side is to blame for the transfer of incorrect coordinates, the official refused to report.

NATO What happens if their specs mist up

Michael Walsh was awarded ‘Writer of the Year 2011’. With 60 books bearing his name, thousands of new stories and columns, Michael is arguably Britain and Europe’s most prolific author of multi-topic books none of which have been ghost-written.

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MICHAEL WALSH is a British born Irish journalist, author, and broadcaster whose father Patrick fought with great distinction in the Spanish Civil War. His 52 books include best-selling FORTY SHADES OF VERSE, FOR THOSE WHO CANNOT SPEAK, RISE OF THE SUN WEELEUROPE ARISE, TROTSKY’S WHITE NEGROES, MEGACAUST, DEATH OF A CITYWITNESS TO HISTORY, THE BUSINESS BOOSTER and THE FIFTH COLUMN VOLUME I and II, and 50 other book titles.

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